he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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