i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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