Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
