I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
