Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
dude. I can hear the air.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
