Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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