K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The adults are the big ones right?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
