two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
