He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
