Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
