I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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