Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Randomize
