So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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