I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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