You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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