Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
