I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
