It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
