woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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