My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
