it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
