6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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