Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
vagina is talking i cant
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
