why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
