i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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