My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
