So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My hand turned me down
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
