I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This is the high leading the old right now
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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