if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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