her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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