I just saw a hot homeless man
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
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The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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