I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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