hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so explain again why im purple
no
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
