I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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