Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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