If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
