Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
