Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
