you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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