I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
