Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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