hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This baby is an asshole
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
