so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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