She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
