i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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