I think my vagina is haunted
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
