I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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