and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
