Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
