Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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