I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
