i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
