Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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