it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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