Please, let me fuck your mom
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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