It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
