i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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