fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
